Choosing Grace

Tonight while my kids were upstairs playing I heard an argument beginning between my little girls. I almost always listen to see if they can work out their issue on their own. The only exception to this is if I feel one of them is going to hurt another. Just as I was going to go intervene I heard Hudsyn screaming. I knew she had gotten hurt. I called my girls to me and in a firm tone asked for a prompt explanation. Bella came to me and whispered in my ear that she had squeezed Hudsyn's neck. With my sweet Bella the confession is always the easy part. It's much harder to get her to explain what led up to the event. After much prodding it was determined that there really wasn't much to the story, her sister was on her nerves and she acted out of anger. She was crying and apologizing. I told her that we weren't upset with her just disappointed. At that, I sent her to bed to have some time before she went to sleep to think through that incident.

The other kids were in their sister's room watching TV. I was downstairs listening to her, through her sobs, tell Maezy the whole story. I was trying to decide how long I should wait until I went upstairs to talk to her. I knew when I went to talk to her that I would have to speak to her with gentleness and love. She rarely needs discipline, it hurt my heart for her. I had a feeling she was disappointed in herself.

I was going to give her a few more minutes to process what happened when she walked downstairs carrying this:

It didn't exactly break my heart but it did show me that she thought I was angry with her. After all, I have smoke, or something equivalent coming from my head. I tried to think of what would have given her that impression since I really wasn't upset. The only thing I could think of was that I was talking loudly to her. Hudsyn was screaming very high, shrill screams (as she has always liked to do) and I was rocking her and talking to Bell.

My intention was that sending her to bed both gave her some time to think and took away her TV time, which in our house, is viewed as a privilege. It was sadly mistaken as Mommy was mad, my thought is that she probably thought I didn't want to deal with her. Nothing could be further from the truth. I really wanted to reach her heart. I wanted to wait until she was rational enough to have a real conversation. When I sent her to bed I planned on her staying there for the night. After I saw her picture I realized that unfortunately, my attempt to help guide her fell short. I said I was sorry that she thought I was mad and hugged her. I told her that because Jesus gives me grace even when I've done something wrong that I want to extend that same grace to her. I sent her upstairs and asked her to look her sister in the eye and apologize. After she did that I asked her sister to tell her she was forgiven. They both did and they gave each other a hug and kiss. I could see the immediate restoration of their bond. The love of Jesus can always been seen most clearly through a child's heart.

My children have a working knowledge of grace. It's something we give them often and because of that when we have wronged them they freely return grace to us. We are able to go to them apologize, ask for forgiveness and see God's grace shown to us through them. Grace really is an amazing thing!