Tristin, tonight you and I were talking at bed time. I said that I was thankful that you came before any of the girls or Grey and you smiled big. I told you how badly I wanted a boy when God gave you to us. I told you of your umbilical cord being knotted and how you could not get food or oxygen if God had not sustained you! You were shocked, I explained that our doctor (the same man who delivered me) came to me and shared that he wasn't a believer but he knew our God had performed a miracle because you shouldn't be alive. I told you that was part of your testimony. That even as a newborn God used you to show his power. You thought a moment and asked if I wanted more kids after you. I reminded you that God gave us four more. You repeated your question, implying that I had not disclosed everything in my answer. So I told you how badly I wanted more kids because I did not want you to be alone and Kait was only here part of the time. You smiled and said that's how we got Bella, I shook my head and you stared back at me puzzled. I gently told you the beautiful story of three babies who never took one breath of air on this earth but their lives birthed four more. You wondered aloud why they weren't able to join our family on earth and if we would know them in heaven. I tried to explain God's providence to you the best way I could in six year old terms, that those babies may have been very sick and would have had to endure much pain, but because God loved them (and us) so much he did not allow them to suffer even one moment. I assured you we would know them in heaven and Granny is able to be with them now. Then you asked a question far beyond your years, "why did God even allow you to get pregnant with them then?" A question I myself have pondered so many times before, yet the answer is more clear to me than most things will ever be. To increase mine and Daddies faith, I told you that faith is believing in God even though we can't see him. You said you wanted to be a christian when you grow up, I told you you don't have to wait until you grow up, you said "I don't?, then I will be one when I am a teenager!" I told you that you could be one now, that because you are young God has been with you and in your heart but to be a christian is to ask Him in because you want to live a life that pleases Him and brings Him glory. You said you wanted to ask Him in right now, so I lead you in ( a not so eloquent) prayer, stopping in the middle to define every word I said so we could both be sure the words you were offering up to your Savior were fully understood. After we prayed you said you didn't think you were going to get the job, I was a bit confused but then you elaborated. You thought it was doing something for God, I explained it was being someone for God. That you are a christian while you are sleeping, playing, drawing, swimming, in the shower, everywhere and all the time you seek to bring glory to God by the fruits of the Spirit of God in your life. I tucked you in and left the room, a few minutes later you came to find me. You said an angle came to visit you and told you that God has something for you to do for him, and thank you for taking God into your heart. We chatted about that for a few minutes then I took you back to bed. You said you wanted to call everyone to tell them that you are a christian now, you wanted me to drive you to peoples houses to tell them about God, you wanted to wake up Bell to see if she wanted to be a christian too. I told you it's not time for her yet, that I want to wait until she is old enough to ask have the understanding for herself. You told me you though God wants to be a missionary, and asked me to help you pray that you would know what God wants you to do for Him. We prayed then you asked me if you could have your own Bible, because Kait has her own but you don't. I told you that Daddy and I will take you to get one very soon! You wanted to go right then, I informed you it was after 11:00 and the Bible bookstore isn't open! You asked me if I could write on your head that you had asked God into your heart so that you didn't forget, I told you that I didn't think that would work (since you can't read quite yet) and so you asked if Daddy could cut your hair tomorrow and we could spray paint it on your head. That question might have made me laugh under normal circumstances but I knew that the Holy Spirit working through you. Deuteronomy 6:4-12 are verses that I hold very close to my heart, they are my parenting life verses but I have never made mention of verse 8 aloud to or in front of you. "Tie them to your hands as a reminder, and wear them on your forehead. It was not a random six year old thought process that brought that to your mind. I shouldn't have been surprised but I stood amazed in the presence of God in my bedroom you my son. Whenever you feel that know that you are in the presence of a Holy God.
I am so proud of the person you are growing into, you let me peek into your spirit so often and I am amazed at how much love, gentleness and tenderness you possess. Tonight I will crawl into bed with dishes in my sink, clutter on the floor and wet paintings on every counter and desk surface available and know that I spent time with you today in the Word and was blessed enough to be the one who was able to lead you to the feet of Jesus.